Feeling Anxious and Don’t Know Why?
- simone7589
- Nov 25
- 4 min read
There are many factors that can contribute to anxiety. These may include health, wellbeing or lifestyle factors such as hormonal changes, sleep problems, ill-health, stressful life events or traumatic experiences, not prioritising rest/relaxat
ion and being in an environmental that is not physically or emotionally safe/supportive.
Anxiety can be exacerbated by caffeine (coffee, tea, energy drinks, soft drinks etc), some medications and other drugs.
If you are feeling anxious it may be beneficial to ensure you have good nutrition, daily exercise, time outdoors in nature, practice meditation or breathing exercises, spend time with friends and loved ones and talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.
If you are suffering from anxiety that is not easing and is impacting you negatively on a regular basis you should see your medical professional (General Practitioner is often the first line of care).
Medical professionals may recommend seeing a psychologist or counsellor and sometimes anxiety medication or hormone treatment may be prescribed (anxiety is a common symptom of perimenopause and can be treated for some people with Hormone Replacement Therapy).
There are collections of habitual thinking patterns often found in people experiencing symptoms of anxiety. Do any of these sound familiar?
Worst case scenario – predicting that something terrible when happen and treating this as a probable outcome when others may consider it an unlikely possibility. It might sound like “We can’t swim in the harbour, we will get attacked by a shark”. It might look like avoidance of activities, challenges or trying something new. If might feel like dread or fear.
Referencing the past and projecting into the future – remembering a past experience and assuming that it will happen again in the future. It might sound like “I stuffed up the presentation last time, I know I will do it again this time.” It might look like resisting change, discouraging others from being optimistic or filtering new opportunities through the lens of past failures. It might feel like reluctance or doubt.
Fixed mindset – seeing things as set in the way they are with no possibility of change. It might sound like “I am not happy in my job, but this is just the way it is”. It might look like being defensive, dismissive or blaming others. It might feel like frustration or being stuck with no options.
Perfectionism – Believing that perfection is possible and expecting yourself and others to attain it. It might sound like “I have to get this exactly right, it can’t go out until it’s perfect”. It might look like not going to bed until the thing you are working on is done. It might feel like energy, tension, resistance in your body when told to leave something in a state that doesn’t meet your standards.
Coaching can assist you to become aware of the habituated thinking patterns that are contributing to you feeling anxious. From awareness comes choice and from choice comes freedom.
Your coach will ask questions to help you understand your own thinking, like:
“Why is getting things perfect important to you? What do you value about that? What would happen if you didn’t get it perfect? What might that mean about you as a person? What is your positive intention about being perfect? Do you have permission to get things wrong?”
You might identify a memory that links to your beliefs about being perfect, such as “my mother yelled at me when I accidentally broke a cup as I was helping her to wash dishes”. Then you may identify the meaning you have allocated to that memory, for example “I made it mean that it is not ok to make a mistake”.
The power of coaching is that by providing access to these subconscious memories and beliefs you can use your adult perspective and see these thoughts as they really are: limiting, unresourceful and put in place by the child version of you. If they are no longer serving you, the process of coaching will help you to choose an alternative frame or belief that serves you better.
In the case of perfectionism, choosing a less rigid, more flexible and self-empathetic approach may open up a possibility of living with much less anxiety and better performance.
Progress towards more resourceful thinking patterns can include:
Worst Case Scenario to realism– might sound like “I don’t know what the future holds, there are several options and something good might happen”. It might look like trying something that you are scared to do. It might feel like a mix of reluctance / fear and hope.
Referencing the past to a better future – might sound like “this was a disaster last time so let’s talk about how to do it better this time”. It might look like organising a lessons learnt session to update processes. It might feel like being prepared and proactive.
Fixed Mind Set to growth mind set – it might sound like “Confusion is a prerequisite for learning”. It might look like asking for feedback. It might feel like an openness to change and enjoyment of learning new things.
Perfectionism to optimism – it might sound like “Minor things go wrong each time we do this event but it is always a success regardless”. It might look like being able to leave the office before finishing that excel spreadsheet to make it in time to your touch footy game. It might feel like relaxation in your body, kindness or “it will be ok”.